Friday 13 January 2017

MY RESOLVE

Pain, I'll take it
The pangs I'll feel
The tears, i would cry
But in my strength, I'll try
In His arms I'll fly
I feel it, the aching
My bones sore
Eyes wary
Lids sagging
Cheeks salty
Body numbed..
But i see it,
Just a mile afar..
One foot before the other
I'll keep going
Each step weaker
But my mind stronger
My resolve firmer
My will screaming.."i will"
I'll do it,
I'll take it..
I'll get weaker..
But believe me..I'll get there.
..and I'll take what is mine.

                                            Martina.M.(mmuch)



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Wednesday 28 December 2016

MIRROR

MIRROR🙅  I'm sorry but my heart is one that will never beat for you, despite it being a mountain you are desperate to crush. Don't get it mixed up, you might be every girl's dream but to me you are nothing but the worst nightmare. Yet you succeeded in diddling me out of my wits that I chose to finally honour your invitation home. Your beautiful home was homely and welcoming, The atmosphere was serene with the cool music. The floors were sparkling, how many times did you brush and clean for my coming?. Your puerile smile changed some few bad impressions I had about you. Had you not sounded like you were going to die on phone the previous night when you called? You had! You said your love for me stung like bee. I made up my mind to make you happy for some few hours to my detriment. Please enjoy the meal and drinks, I prepared it you said coyly. I managed to take few spoons! It tasted great and wonderful, I thought, hiding my admiration. The conversation went on smoothly, I enjoyed every bit of it, you kept a reasonable distance  from me. Did you leave the door open so that I might feel safe? Maybe. Your intelligence and brilliancy couldn't help but reveal itself. You freely told me about your intents and goals towards becoming the president someday.You would make a nice one I thought. I learnt a lot from you just within an hour. The fact that you are ambitious and purpose driven  couldn't help but glare. I couldn't believe you made me cackle, was I getting free with you?. But still,I would rather love another man. My heart won't just beat for you. My eyes reached slowly for your red lips as  you giggled, I cringed in fear, let that lips better not touch mine! Yet I was ecstatic to see you smile......... I had spent over five hours before I realized i had to go. I secretly admired you for not being a reprobate, for being a good man and for respecting my will and body. I stood In front of your big long mirror as I brushed my hair, getting ready to leave.You passed my fear. Instantly, I saw your figure from the mirror, rising up as you stood at my back. The comb fell. Then came the bovine movement of your hand on skin. What do you want I recoiled, running away from the mirror to a save corner. You darted after me."I love you, I do, its almost six years now, if all you have left is your aching soul, I would still love you"you said groaning. I searched for the right words to say but found none, I delved into your eyes for the next action, that was vainly. I bursted into tears. You gasped as you assured me of your undying love, saying you would never hurt me, Liar! Rapscallion!. You pulled me down, not caring how fragile I looked and how hefty you were. I reached for my lips with my hand, protecting it don't kiss me I pleaded in tears. You reached for my hands, grabbed them open, leaving my naked lips defenceless, you kissed me roughly, convulsing in your own passions. I sobbed loudly. Why did I let the tender part of a woman's heart bring me misfortune. I love you, I love u"you wept ravaging my body. Suddenly, I felt a very sharp doleful pain as your finger tore through me. I screamed out! hating you!. You suddenly jumped up,lying still on the bed, covering your eyes in shame, screaming that you hate yourself for your  action!.Liar! Pretender!. I reached quickly for my bag as I felt my blood dripping down my legs. I felt an unknown rage,  I had lost my virginity to a strange unloved man!. My eye caught the bottle on the floor, I ran towards it intending to lob it on the wall!!!. I closed my eyes deeply in pain and anger aiming for the wall only to hear you wail after I had thrown the bottle. You were immediately covered in a pool of blood as it gushed out from your jugular vein I have killed him, I have killed the monster I yelled. You were gasping when your friend suddenly busted in, baffled at the scene. He called for an ambulance immediately. Did she do this to you" your friend panicked but you died in his arms leaving his question unanswered, putting me in the shackles of the society. You will die by the law your friend screamed. No, I won't I screamed back sobbing loudly. Only the wicked and evil will fear!. I had no intention of killing him. Nature and the spirits of the oppressed will fight for me!. I will not kill a soul! I had no intention of!. I regretted coming to see the dead body. What had love turned into? My world had suddenly turned around for bad. I had become an accused all of a sudden Did he truly love me and couldn't control his emotion? Had I dared the masculine sexuality for coming to his home? I had expected a move from him, hadn't I? I had! WHO SHOULD THE BLAME BE CAST ON FOR MY SUDDEN PREDICAMENT??? I glanced at the mirror as I felt the blood drip down slowly again. I shuddered.I WOULD FIGHT IT ALL, I WILL PROVE MY INNOCENCE, I WILL WIN I screamed out boldly, groaning in pain, determined.                                                                                    Izuehien Mary Ngozi😘